As strange as it seems I enjoy shopping for groceries at the supermarket. And there is no doubt that because of my different moods on the day I don’t always get everything I need in one visit. So I tend to visit the supermarket at least two or three times per week. I guess that my “wants” are based on my mood so that’s why on a Monday the honey does not jump out at me and say “buy me”, but on a Wednesday it very well could.
Similarly, my shopping experiences can be quiet where the presence of others is only noted to avoid cart collisions, or they can be filled with unsolicited interactions and even conversations with complete strangers.
Yesterday, at the supermarket as I snaked through the aisles in the clockwise direction, a couple around the 65 year old mark were pushing their cart in the anti-clockwise direction. The first time we passed the husband, with mischievous demeanor, looked me in the eye, made an unsolicited comment then drew me into a conversation. The conversation was trivial but pleasant enough and then every time we passed each other in a different aisle there would be another interaction, a comment, a “joke” or even a snide remark or two like how he was never allowed to buy what he wanted as he glanced toward his wife some four steps ahead.
As I reached the last couple of aisles where the frozen goods are (that’s why I go in a clockwise direction) an elderly lady, about 75,with an English accent took one glance at me and starting telling me “what nonsense global warming was”. I knew of this lady, because I live in a small town of around 100,000 people called Launceston where by co-incidence her late husband John Daly taught me economics in the late eighties when I was Year 12. That same year he released The Greenhouse Trap, one of the first books to question the so called science of global warming.
I engaged in conversation with Mrs Daly but did’t have the heart (or maybe the gumption) to tell her that I knew her late husband. In fact, I admired him greatly because he stood up to conventional wisdom and as an impressionable 17 year old he encouraged me when he told me that I could write well and should consider a career in writing. I recall his comment annoying my good friend Mark and tinging him with a bit of envy. By the way Mark is in private equity in New York making about a hundred dollars in the same time that I can type a word.
As I left the supermarket I pondered as to:
why three days ago did I not invite the interaction of strangers but today I did it twice?
On the day of interactions I was not wearing a name tag saying “Hello my name is Jason please say hello and talk to me” so my conclusion was that it had to be a difference in the way people perceive me from day to day.
To the books and research I went where I discovered that there are numerous non-verbal cues and behaviours that invite interaction and there are some that discourage interaction. And given that eliciting interpersonal interactions is a very effective way to put yourself in the path of luck it is important to study and adopt the “eliciting” appearances and behaviours and avoid those that erect a “barrier.
Relating the published research to the exciting supermarket setting it was evident that on the day I invited interaction I was not using open arm gestures as I was pushing a cart. Similarly, on the day that I did not invite interpersonal interaction was not walking around with arms crossed, making a barrier because again I was pushing a trolley. My physical appearance and clothes would have been very similar, so it was not that either.
In the absence that the interaction catalyst was not my clothes or arm gestures perhaps it was my smile? I am certain that some days I have an “approach me” smile and that some days I am a million miles away and not smiling at all.
So back to the science articles again and “bingo” – smiling is one of the best ways to invite interaction from others. Science has shown that smiles are typically considered positive displays and that smiling directly and positively influences other people’s attitudes.
Moreover, in a 2004 study by Lynden K Miles of the School of Psychology at the University of Aberdeen, Miles demonstrated that the subject people in his experiment decreased their interpersonal distance when the approaching target was displaying a natural enjoyment smile.
The lesson that supermarkets and science offers us is - “smile”. Natural smiles signal trustworthiness, co-operative intent and even a safe environment. Smiles are a means of inviting, establishing and maintaining interpersonal interactions. And interpersonal interactions are at the heart of the Pursuit of Luck – read my post on “People Collisions”.
Get out and about, be happy, smile, invite interpersonal interactions and get lucky,






